The Problem with Talking About the Problem

What if talking about your problem is actually part of the problem?

Especially when you bring it up for the fifth, tenth, or twentieth time.

What if talking about the problem is actually keeping your focus on the problem and keeping from exercising your agency?

It can feel productive to go over a problem or vent a little...and sometimes it is.

But are you doing it on purpose?

If not, it may be your habit that is keeping you stuck.

This is one of the insights that challenged me when I read David Emerald's The Power of TED. I started to recognize how talking (repeatedly) about a problem could actually be disempowering.

I was stuck in what Emerald calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), focusing more on what was happening to me than what I could do in response. And it was such a habit that I didn't even realize it.

That's a hidden ceiling. A habit that feels productive but is actually limiting.

Here's a Helpful Challenge:

The next time you hear yourself repeating a problem you've already discussed several times, stop and ask:

"Am I trying to solve this problem, or am I avoiding taking ownership of my response?"